As jobs and hope evaporate, frightened people are turning to coaches, some of us professional, some gifted amateurs.

Here are a few reminders about how to be most effective as a coach.

Put Aside Your Own Preoccupations

You may believe that things will get worse, or better. Your relatives may have suffered, or prospered. You may be personally fearful, or optimistic.

But in the coaching moment, none of that is relevant.

Leave it all aside. Nothing breaks empathy like, "Well, in my case..." Or "That reminds me..."

Focus On The Person

Rivet your attention on the person before you.

Listen attentively to their words, but note too what's happening physically: their face, their hands, their posture.

You'll begin to see the subtle ways in which they are different from any other person you've coached.

You'll gain helpful hints about what's happening inside them, including fears they may not express in words.

Maintain The Dialectic Of Rationality And Empathy

To be an effective coach, your mind and heart need to work together.

Never doubt that your questions, suggestions, and guidance are valuable. Your task is to think beyond the moment, to imagine how the person can effectively secure their future.

But your ideas will mean nothing if the person does not sense that you "get" them: empathically, warmly.

To be empathic is not to lose yourself in another's pain but to acknowledge it and show that you understand.

Draw Out Their Wisdom

Share your ideas, but don't rely on them.

You'll do more good helping people to express and refine their own solutions than by attempting to convert them to yours.

And that takes a distracting load from your shoulders, not having to be the font of all wisdom.

Attending to the other person's ideas offers an unintended benefit.

By working out their own solutions, taking ownership of their issues, they feel their power grow, and kindle their own hope.

Hope counterbalances some of their fear, freeing up their energy for success.

Which makes you a great coach!